Happy Birthday Mom!

(From Facebook, January 9, 2012)

Santo Militello

Not a day goes by that I'm not thankful for the influence my mother had on my life. I know she's looking at me from Heaven as I share a drink of Bailey's with her. Happy Birthday!

People who like this

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Jason C Salazar January 9 at 2:50pm

Let's go to Vegas and have 15 of them

Elaine Sowinski January 9 at 2:56pm

Have 1 for me I love Baileys, had 1 at xmas doesnt mix well with meds.......

Traci Battaglia January 9 at 3:07pm

I miss your mom she was an amazing woman and im lucky she was a part of my life!Happy Birthday to her!

Jamie JNunze Annunziata January 9 at 4:50pm

Happy birthday to her...even tho she hated me lol

Lauren Sutton January 9 at 7:01pm

Santo, she loved you so much I was there by her side for a short while and was she proud of you...I will have one too, To Dara !

Hair Artist January 9 at 7:08pm

Cheers to your Mom. Happy birthday from me.

Susan Licata Sirica January 10 at 9:29am

Thinking of all of you today ♥

Happy Birthday Mom!

January 9 at 6:01pm

You should have been 60 today. Happy Birthday Mom!

Santo Militello

You and 20 others like this.

Lewis Pizza Sr., Susan Licata Sirica, Mark Medley, Wendy McCarthy, Linda Zwifka D'Amaro, Carol Banzer, Karen Idzik Narusewicz, Dominic Burgio, Jamie Keith Blaszkowiak, Rosalie Rizzo- Scamurra, Jimmy McLaughlin, Jamie JNunze Annunziata, Cindy Pfahler, Sandra Taurino, Amy Rogers Steinberg, Jeremy R. Hoyt, Margaret Torres Parrella, Tara Stein, Melissa Dougherty, Maureen McLaughlin

January 9 at 6:26pm

Thank you for my Santo

Jason C Salazar

January 9 at 6:31pm

Dara was such a great woman, she found a way to make my birthday still very special even if your sister and my brother took the date by getting married, lol... She is truly missed!

Tara Stein

January 9 at 6:55pm

Thank you everyone! I would be a great person if I was even half the person she was.

Santo Militello

January 9 at 7:36pm

Santo, it was a pleasure growing up across the street and as a teenager you had many of her enduring qualities

P.J. Battaglia

January 9 at 8:19pm

you are a great person, never forget that xoxo

Margaret Torres Parrella

January 9 at 9:16pm

Dara was awesome. I have some calligraphy she did for my dad at my bedside...I see every morning and every night.

Jimmy McLaughlin

January 9 at 9:18pm

She was a great writer and she definitely corrected me enough times to make me a pretty good one too, at least with grammar.

Santo Militello

January 10 at 12:32am

I loved the look she would give when she was trying to explain in a nice way that my logic sucked! She was great!

Dominic Burgio

January 10 at 11:22am

That's so sweet Santo!

Samantha Liberty Jeter

Disability inspired pride, poetic words in Dara McLaughlin

Barbara McKee: A voice silenced

Disability inspired pride, poetic words in Dara McLaughlin

By Barbara McKee

Monday, July 3, 2006

"When your legs fall into a deep sleep
unmoving, near dead
you are the embodiment of a blatant
physical flaw, a visible derangement
you are the ambassador of human tragedy
symbol of vulnerability/uncertainty
of what the future holds tomorrow or twenty years from now"
- excerpt from "Ode to Legs, A Map of This World," by Dara McLaughlin.

When the disability community loses a champion, the world loses a unique voice of truth. Dara McLaughlin, gifted poet, visual artist, teacher, disability activist and humanitarian, died on May 26, after a long illness.

McLaughlin, originally from Buffalo, moved to Rio Rancho in February of 1996, enamored with the beauty of her new surroundings and the chance of a fresh start. She plunged into the poetry scene of Albuquerque and Santa Fe, making her mark as a disability poet and activist.

I met Dara in 1998, just weeks after moving to Albuquerque for the very same reasons she had. We had exchanged e-mails before I moved, meeting on a disability message board. She was articulate and witty, and I was thrilled to have a friend waiting for me in a city I had only seen twice before. I was astonished by her openness, confidence, strength of character and incredible beauty.

McLaughlin was an established poet by the time I arrived, and she took me under her wing after reading my work. She introduced me to disability poetry, but, more importantly, she taught me to be a happy member of the disability community.

Before I met her, I didn't associate with wheelchair-users. She taught me how to be proud of my disability, something that was foreign to me. I avoided disabled people, afraid of being rejected by the able-bodied. She taught me the opinions of others regarding my worth didn't mean a thing.

"Hold your head up", she said, "you are a human being, just like everybody else."

To have a friend like her was truly a gift. She was a warrior, honing her activist skills to a sharp point. We formed a poetry duet called "No Shy Bones," declaring that neither of us had a shy bone in our bodies and truth would be the bedrock of our work.

We performed in several venues, including one that no other poet had before: the Bernalillo Detention Center's Man-to-Man Project, comprised of teenaged boys incarcerated for serious crimes. We read our work without fear, and the reactions from the inmates were wonderful. The boys surrounded us, asking how they could become poets. It was the highlight of our short collaboration.

I don't know if I would be writing this column if we never met. McLaughlin was, and still is, a shining example of a life well lived.

A poetry memorial service will be held on July 20 at the Corrales Library at 7 p.m. - open to the public.

McKee, a wheelchair user, is a freelance writer and producer. You can e-mail her at chairgrrl@chairgrrl.com.

Article is here.

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Dara was always ready to help when she could. She was inspiring and caring. I have fond memories of her and her family when she lived on Breckenridge. My sincere condolences to her family. She will be sadly missed by many.

Elizabeth Scime-Starks (Buffalo, NY)
ladystarks@verizon.net

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In My Pocket

I have memories in my pocket.

They rattle among the change.

My memories of you are treasures I carry wherever I go.

They are stored in bits and pieces, parts of a beautiful whole
They give me comfort when I think I am alone.

Yes, I have memories in my pocket, like so much other stuff I keep there.

But of all the treasures I have, it’s the memories of you that are the most precious.

June 3, 2006
Anne Short (Erie, PA )
anneshortrn@adelphia.net

Obit

Dara D. (Cacciato) McLaughlin

Of Rio Rancho, NM, May 27, 2006; beloved mother of Santo and Marla Militello and Daina (Shawn) Richards; grandmother of Nathanial and Elaina; daughter of the late Joseph and Elaine Cacciato; sister of Helene Cacciato and Joette (Leo) Fabrizi. Friends received Sunday from 3-7 PM at the GRECO FUNERAL HOME, 2909 Elmwood Ave. (near Sheridan Dr.), where Funeral services will be held Monday morning at 10. Interment in Mt. Calvary Cemetery.

From the Buffalo News, June 3, 2006.

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Michael,

I just checked in on your blog and saw the news about Dara. I am very sorry for your loss---more than I can say.

She touched my life as well. Don't know if I ever told you what happened on 9/11. I was mesmerized and shellshocked from events that transpired that day. To the mixed feelings regarding all, Blackhawk helicopters wereh overing over my house. I don't know if I ever mentioned I lived literally 150 yards or so right up the hill from an active military installation, so the choppers came on active duty. Then, a frantic phone call from a friend whose sister worked in Manhattan downtown. Jeff could not locate her, and, being blind, could not really "see" the devastation that was taking place on the tube. In an age where so much is blown out of proportion in the media, I am sure you can understand. He was off from work that day, so there was no one around to ask. At about 3 pm, my doorbell rang. A little dazed and confused, I answered. It was FedEx with a delivery of a package of Omaha Steaks and associated treats. It was from Dara. I laughed and cried a little. It was a pleasant highlight in an otherwise very woeful day. You may remember I would never take any money from her for doing the darasarts website, so that is why the gift was sent.

I went over to Jeff's house that evening armed with a couple of steaks and a chocolate cake that came in the package. We had a nice meal. I made some calls to a couple of people in Manhattan. All the cell networks etc were jammed or at least partially down. But I did get info about where the really "bad" areas were. So Jeff calmed a little. Finally about 9 pm his sister got a call out. All was well with her except for a few bruises in the rush trying to get a train out.

On such a devastating day, Dara was an incredible light. It was not the gift, it was not the cost of the gift (enormous!), but it was the kindness in her doing it. In remembrance of the events of that dark day, that one small light will always shine.

Tears and Smiles,

april

May 31, 2006

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My most impressive memory of Dara was of her climbing the stairs to your apartment on Sunset. I have often thought of her in recent years when I've wanted to just quit. She was an inspiration. I never got the chance to tell her that...

Serena
May 30, 2006

In Memoriam

I got the phone call yesterday while the trucks were being loaded.

Dara passed away Friday night, May 26th.

I lived with Dara McLaughlin in the early 1990’s, and she changed my life.

I learned a great deal from her, all the way up until our last conversation, most of which does not transfer well into words. The best way I can describe her gift to me is that she modeled and encouraged a style of living that was not simply striving for excellence, but to do so with grace and dignity; with class.

Dara was also possessed of superb social intelligence, and boundless interest in the lives of others that was rooted in loving compassion. She had a way of making everyone feel welcomed into her world.

No matter how long you may know the end is coming, it still feels like a surprise. I still had hope that she would recover, and that there would be more “Darasarts,” more books written, more art made…

I will miss her more than I can say.